I guess this is a normal part of having a creative personality, but once in a while I kind of drift into a phase where I start to question whether this is what I really want to keep doing. Should I continue to produce new tunes or just call it quits and try something else. Maybe I could get back to developing games and apps again. I dunno.
I suspect there are people around me that probably, secretly thinks I’m too old for this shit. I mean, I’m 47 now. Three years left to 50 and I still haven’t really “made it” and probably never will. The dream I had in my mid 20s, to be able to support myself with my music looks pretty dated and naive today.
But… I have tried to go down that road before. The idea of quitting music for a while and that didn’t work out, at all. It felt like a big part of me was missing. I really need the kick I get when everything works out and a track turns out great. I guess that’s what keeps me going. Not the thought of “making it” but the fact that the whole music making process is now a deep part of who I am. I can’t cut something like that away without serious consequences.
Anyway, enough rambling for today and back to tweaking the Eurorack modular.